Hey Japan, can you hear me? I have to go...
...but I'll be back really soon! hopefully...
It is very difficult for me to write this post.
Why?
Well, because the title forces me to recognise that I really am about to spend my very last days of my exchange year in Japan.
First of all, I kind of want to apologise for not posting in almost two months. Since October, time has sped up incredibly and I had suddenly so many things to write about, that I got overwhelmed.
Also, I had to finish my Japanese study program’s worksheets and that took up basically all my free time after school every day.
Anyone else also still struggling to realise that it is already the end of December? Like: Wait a minute, what? I can’t quite grasp the fact that 2016 is already coming to an end. I experience similar feelings at the same time every year, but this time it is particularly hard to believe.
As you might have already noticed: Today’s post is going to be quite a lot different than the one, I’ve left you with in October. Whereas that post was written in a rather educating style and the topic was very important to me, the entry today will be just a bunch of thoughts and quite jumbled up. But it feels equally important to me, to write down, the many "head cannons“ I’m experiencing right now and it feels even more right to share them with you.
So without further babbling let’s jump right into my head and I mean this quite literally:
If you’d want me to draw out a mind map of my thoughts and feelings around the question "How do you feel?“, then it would look something like the sketch below.
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| Yeah….actually there's a lot more spinning in my head, but this shall be enough to give you at least an example. |
All I can really say is: Going home is hard! The reasons for being sad or happy kind of equalise themselves, which makes every day a challenge not to feel lost in your own head.
1. I really love my host family. I can't quite describe how blessed I feel to say: Yes, it feels as if I have two families now!
I will miss my host family incredibly and I will be forever grateful that they embraced me from the start and helped me to find my way in Japan.
2. I experienced and learned so much this year! Not only about Japan and it's culture and Japanese, but so much more! I learned about myself and how I process my surroundings. And I mean I was consciously studying! I was not only practising Japanese every day but there was something new every day. I'm really not exaggerating. One of the many things my exchange year taught me, is that if you look closely enough you'll notice something worth researching every day and everywhere you go. It is all about perspective and most of the time we overlook small things even though those are the ones that can help you to a good mood and a happy daily life. I learned to treasure the small things.
I'd like to quote my dear friend Julia, who's by the way also an exchange student in Japan right now.
She said: "Big things are just small things, but bigger."
I'd like to quote my dear friend Julia, who's by the way also an exchange student in Japan right now.
She said: "Big things are just small things, but bigger."
If you hear this for the first time it might sound a bit unnecessary or even stupid to you. But it's definitely far from stupid! Just read through it one more time and think about what I said about small things having the power to make you happy. You get it?
Even though big events in our lives might be easier to notice, these big occasions are built up by small, tiny incidents.
So by valuing big things for being so noticeable and big, we're unconsciously already witnessing the power of small things. So why not bring some happiness and power to every day of our life, just by starting to notice and value small incidents that make us smile? Like someone holding the door for you, or sharing a sweet, or lending you a pen...These things, these incidents, they're not insignificant. Not if you notice them and think about that bright smile of your classmate while your teacher is correcting your grammar mistake for the fourth time, even though he could understand what you asked anyways. Find joy in small things.
So by valuing big things for being so noticeable and big, we're unconsciously already witnessing the power of small things. So why not bring some happiness and power to every day of our life, just by starting to notice and value small incidents that make us smile? Like someone holding the door for you, or sharing a sweet, or lending you a pen...These things, these incidents, they're not insignificant. Not if you notice them and think about that bright smile of your classmate while your teacher is correcting your grammar mistake for the fourth time, even though he could understand what you asked anyways. Find joy in small things.
3. I'm a bit scared about "Reverse culture shock". For all of you thinking, "what the heck is that anyway?", here's what it means:
"Reverse culture shock (also known as "re-entry shock" or "own culture shock") may take place—returning to one's home culture after growing accustomed to a new one. These are results from the psychosomatic and psychological consequences of the readjustment process to the primary culture. The affected person often finds this more surprising and difficult to deal with than the original culture shock."
or:
Thomas Wolfe, You Can't Go Home Again:
"The realisation that life back home is now different, that the world has continued without us, and the process of readjusting to these new conditions as well as actualizing our new perceptions about the world with our old way of living causes discomfort and psychological anguish."
Why I'm a bit anxious about it? Well, I really had a wonderful time in Japan. I came to love this country, it's people and especially the language. I had so many literally life-changing experiences and memories that I want to treasure. I'm simply scared I will start to forget things, when I'm back in Germany and that I will become homesick for Japan. But on the other hand, I feel very supported by my family and friends and am therefore positively excited to find ways of feeding my "Japan-hunger" in Germany. I want to share my experiences and thoughts with the people I love, who've been waiting for me to come home ever so patiently.
Thank you for your support and love and friendship! I truly appreciate it!
One of the biggest achievements/fortunes triggered by this exchange:
At the beginning of my exchange year, I was very motivated and hopeful to find what interests me most and thereby get an idea of what I'd like to do after school.
I found my passion in Japanese.
I love the language. I love the culture and the people it opened up to me. I love its' sound and am desperate to find out more about it's writing systems and historical developments.
My general idea of what I'd like to do after graduating from high school is, therefore: Go to university and study Japanese language, history, culture and the developments of Japanese society connecting to these three subjects. [subjects I'm interested in studying at uni: Japanologie und Allgemeine Sprachwissenschaften]
It fills me with so much happiness to have been able to discover my passion and I'm so motivated to study hard #japanesestyle to achieve my goal.
Because it's kind of hard to end this post because it was basically just a jumbled bunch of thoughts, I'm gonna leave you with this picture:
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| my very own Japanese flag, where all my classmates signed and wrote down some encouraging messages for me. #sohappy I hope you all spent a wonderful Christmas with your loved ones. Happy new year and all the best for 2017! Love Avria |
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