Final thoughts on Japan

Hey Japan, can you hear me? I have to go...

...but I'll be back really soon! hopefully...

It is very difficult for me to write this post.

Why?

Well, because the title forces me to recognise that I really am about to spend my very last days of my exchange year in Japan.

First of all, I kind of want to apologise for not posting in almost two months. Since October, time has sped up incredibly and I had suddenly so many things to write about, that I got overwhelmed.

Also, I had to finish my Japanese study program’s worksheets and that took up basically all my free time after school every day.

Anyone else also still struggling to realise that it is already the end of December? Like: Wait a minute, what? I can’t quite grasp the fact that 2016 is already coming to an end. I experience similar feelings at the same time every year, but this time it is particularly hard to believe.

As you might have already noticed: Today’s post is going to be quite a lot different than the one, I’ve left you with in October. Whereas that post was written in a rather educating style and the topic was very important to me, the entry today will be just a bunch of thoughts and quite jumbled up. But it feels equally important to me, to write down, the many "head cannons“ I’m experiencing right now and it feels even more right to share them with you.

So without further babbling let’s jump right into my head and I mean this quite literally:

If you’d want me to draw out a mind map of my thoughts and feelings around the question "How do you feel?“, then it would look something like the sketch below.

Yeah….actually there's a lot more spinning in my head, but this shall be enough to give you at least an example.

All I can really say is: Going home is hard! The reasons for being sad or happy kind of equalise themselves, which makes every day a challenge not to feel lost in your own head.

1. I really love my host family. I can't quite describe how blessed I feel to say: Yes, it feels as if I have two families now!

I will miss my host family incredibly and I will be forever grateful that they embraced me from the start and helped me to find my way in Japan.

2. I experienced and learned so much this year! Not only about Japan and it's culture and Japanese, but so much more! I learned about myself and how I process my surroundings. And I mean I was consciously studying! I was not only practising Japanese every day but there was something new every day. I'm really not exaggerating. One of the many things my exchange year taught me, is that if you look closely enough you'll notice something worth researching every day and everywhere you go. It is all about perspective and most of the time we overlook small things even though those are the ones that can help you to a good mood and a happy daily life. I learned to treasure the small things.
I'd like to quote my dear friend Julia, who's by the way also an exchange student in Japan right now.

She said: "Big things are just small things, but bigger."

If you hear this for the first time it might sound a bit unnecessary or even stupid to you. But it's definitely far from stupid! Just read through it one more time and think about what I said about small things having the power to make you happy. You get it?

Even though big events in our lives might be easier to notice, these big occasions are built up by small, tiny incidents.
So by valuing big things for being so noticeable and big, we're unconsciously already witnessing the power of small things. So why not bring some happiness and power to every day of our life, just by starting to notice and value small incidents that make us smile? Like someone holding the door for you, or sharing a sweet, or lending you a pen...These things, these incidents, they're not insignificant. Not if you notice them and think about that bright smile of your classmate while your teacher is correcting your grammar mistake for the fourth time, even though he could understand what you asked anyways. Find joy in small things.

3. I'm a bit scared about "Reverse culture shock". For all of you thinking, "what the heck is that anyway?", here's what it means:

"Reverse culture shock (also known as "re-entry shock" or "own culture shock") may take place—returning to one's home culture after growing accustomed to a new one. These are results from the psychosomatic and psychological consequences of the readjustment process to the primary culture. The affected person often finds this more surprising and difficult to deal with than the original culture shock."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock 

or:

Thomas Wolfe, You Can't Go Home Again:

"The realisation that life back home is now different, that the world has continued without us, and the process of readjusting to these new conditions as well as actualizing our new perceptions about the world with our old way of living causes discomfort and psychological anguish."


Why I'm a bit anxious about it? Well, I really had a wonderful time in Japan. I came to love this country, it's people and especially the language. I had so many literally life-changing experiences and memories that I want to treasure. I'm simply scared I will start to forget things, when I'm back in Germany and that I will become homesick for Japan. But on the other hand, I feel very supported by my family and friends and am therefore positively excited to find ways of feeding my "Japan-hunger" in Germany. I want to share my experiences and thoughts with the people I love, who've been waiting for me to come home ever so patiently.

Thank you for your support and love and friendship! I truly appreciate it! 

One of the biggest achievements/fortunes triggered by this exchange:

At the beginning of my exchange year, I was very motivated and hopeful to find what interests me most and thereby get an idea of what I'd like to do after school.

I found my passion in Japanese.

I love the language. I love the culture and the people it opened up to me. I love its' sound and am desperate to find out more about it's writing systems and historical developments. 

My general idea of what I'd like to do after graduating from high school is, therefore: Go to university and study Japanese language, history, culture and the developments of Japanese society connecting to these three subjects. [subjects I'm interested in studying at uni: Japanologie und Allgemeine Sprachwissenschaften]

It fills me with so much happiness to have been able to discover my passion and I'm so motivated to study hard #japanesestyle to achieve my goal.

Because it's kind of hard to end this post because it was basically just a jumbled bunch of thoughts, I'm gonna leave you with this picture:

my very own Japanese flag, where all my classmates signed and
wrote down some encouraging messages for me. #sohappy



I hope you all spent a wonderful Christmas with your loved ones.

Happy new year and all the best for 2017!

Love Avria

Judging another culture; or why not to

origin: google images and my own picture editing

Today I’d like to talk about this statement from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

Before my opinion on the quote and the reason, why I’m blogging about it, I’d like to give you some background information on Mrs. Adichie.

Because my post shall not be primarily about her biography I made use of wikipedia here: 

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie "[…] is a Nigerian novelist, nonfiction writer and short story writer. A MacArthur Genius Grant recipient, Adichie has been called "the most prominent" of a "procession of critically acclaimed young anglophone authors [that] is succeeding in attracting a new generation of readers to African literature". […]"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chimamanda_Ngozi_Adichie

In case you’re wondering how I became interested in her:

I’ve watched one of her speeches on TED talks. [this is an organisation which goal it is to give all kinds of people with all kinds of different ideas a platform or a stage to speak on. They have really interesting people as there „guests“, who do amazing speeches. TED talks publishes their speeches on their website, in case you’re interested check it out here. You can also find some of their videos on YouTube.] 

So enough background info: Let’s get started!

"Culture does not make people.

People make culture."

I think this is a very simple yet incredible powerful quote. It might seem interesting to you too, but let me highlight why this statement is so precious to me.

Being an exchange student in Japan I think I often made the mistake to pin the label "Japanese" or "Japanese Culture" to everyone I met and everything I saw, at least in the beginning.

Well, let me justify myself before you judge. I think every human being came across this phenomenon at least once in their lives: You go somewhere new or you meet someone new and you instantly recognise everything that’s different before taking in the whole picture.

It’s very easy to judge before you understand and it’s even easier to "spot the difference" before seeing the similarities.

Everyone is guilty of premature judgement or labelling. I count myself guilty, too. In theory there is nothing wrong with this phenomenon. But sadly more often then not these judgements and unjustified labels lead to biased actions afterwards. 

Here’s my opinion why humans might act like this:

Well, first of all I’d like to say, that I don’t think this is an active thought, like a decision we make: Should I judge this person based on…[place physical feature or detail of appearance here]…?

I’d rather say it is something that happens unconsciously and very fast. It might even be some kind of reflex.

Obvious and exaggerated example:

You see a person with a knife. Your brain will probably process this information and label it "Danger ahead". unconsciously 

Afterwards you might start to look for an emergency exit and run. consciously 

You see there might be a reason why we, judge in most situations before researching or justifying anything. Until there: no harm done. 

Problems occur when you start to always believe your own first-glance judgements. On the long run this will lead to biased actions and it could narrow down your thoughts and your view. 

How to beware of this: 

Think about Mrs. Adichie’s statement: "Culture does not make people." Therefore what you might have seen/ recognized/  judged first, might not even have anything to do with the actual person in front of you. 

If you know or heard of a specific fact or prejudice about a certain group of people or a certain culture, this does not mean everyone, who’s part of that group is the same, has the same opinion on certain topics, agrees or disagrees with you etc. 

Metaphor: If you'd look at my high school here in Japan you’d see everyone wearing the same clothes [school uniform] and looking similar [from the western point of view Japanese people look different from us, first thing we recognise, and this spotted difference is then labelled "Japanese"]. But if you start walking through the crowd of students you'd notice the diversity of "looking Japanese". You'd notice the students, who look tidy and organised and you'd notice the ones, who’s uniform looks a little disheveled. You'd see tall people and small people, happy people and tired people. If you then started talking with the students around you [for the sake of my metaphor you understand Japanese and they understand your language] you would of course first recognise them "speaking different then you do" [another language, in this case Japanese] and they'd all sound the same [because they all speak the same language], but as soon as you'd start to listen to WHAT they say, you'd notice many different voices and thoughts. You'd notice quiet speakers, loud speakers, joking people, thoughtful tones etc. 

Conclusion: Don’t fight your first-glance-judgement. It is a natural thing to happen. We all do it and we’re all victims of other’s first-glance-judgements. But never let your further actions rely on that first label you attached! Maybe the man with the knife works in a butcher shop and he’s not after your life. There’s always a possibility that you misunderstood or overlooked something. And if you already let the label affect your actions, if you already ran away from the nice butcher man, crying for help and pointing fingers, remember: There is always a way back. A second attempt. A pause to re-think your actions. It is okay to make mistakes. Especially when meeting a new culture or someone very different from all the people you’ve met before. You’re more or less bound to make mistakes. But even if the circumstances apply a high percentage of possible mistakes, this does not justify you making these mistakes without taking care of it afterwards! 

#[add apology here if necessary]

Another reason I wrote this post:

I have now lived in Japan for over 200 days which equals about 6 1/2 months which equals roughly half a year. All this time I was surrounded by my Japanese hostfamily, I was going to a Japanese high school, I do Japanese things with my Japanese friends, while talking Japanese. Sometimes I start to forget now that I’m different or that my culture is different.

This might sound very weird right now, so let me explain:

Of course I am aware that I look like I've looked at the beginning of me exchange: in my case this is a European look. I also didn’t forget my home country's culture. 

But I forgot what seemed so very different to me, when I first came here. I stopped thinking about some things and I stopped recognising every-day actions as "different from Germany". 

For me this is an absolute positive experience! Something that shows me that I’ve embraced my exchange country and now am part of it myself! Something that makes me extremely happy and proud. But sometimes it makes answering questions, for my blog or with my German friends and family, a little bit difficult. I’m no longer sure whether they will understand or whether I should further explain something, that already seems perfectly normal to me now.

My view on Japan is mixed now. I’m very grateful that it is, but sometimes it indicates slightly difficult feelings for me.

For example: I am proud of my exchange country. I feel part of Japan and I feel responsible. If my friends or my family ask me questions I sometimes forget, that they ask purely out of curiosity and never out of ignorance or anything alike! Because most of them only have me as a personal source for information about Japan and I, on the other hand, came to love and care about Japan. Therefore I’ve started to take questions about Japan rather personally than objectively.
I sometimes forget that I have had the same questions and the same shocking realisations at first  and that the questions of my friends and my family are not ignorant or meant as insults to Japan!

[To my friends and family: please keep asking me whatever your heart desires to know! You have done nothing wrong, this is all about my "inner-changes" and I’m not angry with anyone of you!!!! I’m very happy that so many of you show interest in Japan and Japanese, so please keep doing so!]

Also: Because I was so lucky to have almost only very good and loving experiences in Japan [so far] I tend to forget that of course not everything about Japan is perfect!

No it is not, because every country has it’s faults. But in my mind I see Japan in a more positive than in a negative light.
That does not mean I don’t see "bad things" here or that I ignore them.

No, I haven’t stopped reflecting whether something feels good or bad or wrong or right to me and I would sign the phrase: Japan is not perfect.

But I would also sign: Germany is not perfect. The world is not perfect. I’m not perfect.

Everyone and everything is far from being infallible.

It’s what makes life diverse and exciting. Infallibility is what triggers us to improve!

But if someone from "the outside-world", at the moment this translates into everywhere except for Japan, comes to seek my opinion on a negative fact about Japan, I now tend to want to protect Japan, rather than simply answering their question or telling them my opinion.

When I notice this, I step back and I tell myself: Think different! Try to comprehend how it must look like for them or: Do some research! Does Japan really do this? Did the Japanese really take part in this? etc.

So the first sentence of Mrs. Adichies statement makes me remember, that I might see things different, based on a label I gave them and that I gave this label based on where I come from and what I know and experienced.

The second sentence reminds me to step back from the label and try to ask the person, what his/ her culture means to him/her. To try and view the individuum in front of me, without the labels, that might have been attached to them.

source: thepsychmind.com

My main goal for today's post was it, to try and open your eyes on how we all often see the world:

Through glasses, that are painted with the colours of our culture, our age, our own experiences and our feelings.

Next time you meet someone or something new, I'd like you to try and clean your glasses. You will never be able to get rid of them completely, but you can try to paint them differently from time to time, to clean them or to switch glasses with your fellow humans.

By recognising that we all have our very own point of view on things and the outside-world in general, we might all be able to shift our positions a little bit sometimes.

I try to do all of the above, every day and I started doing so since I came to Japan. I know I am not perfect at doing this, but I try. I hope you'll try, too.

Because especially today's society and world could use some shifts and switches and new colours.

Thank you.

Thank you all for following my journey and for taking the time to read through my posts. It means a lot to me, that I can share my thoughts and experiences this way with you.

Take care and until next time

Love Avria